But if I were not, I’d be heading to this place:

Because on Monday 28th June at 5.45pm, the fabulous bookshop Tales On Moon Lane are hosting a teen fiction event at Dulwich Library. Check out the line-up:

Luisa Plaja, author of Split By A Kiss, Extreme Kissing, and Swapped By A Kiss (and some other top secret books – Luisa is prolific, in fact she’s my personal Queen of Teen).

Keris Stainton, author of the recently published Della Says: OMG (which has had all manner of superb reviews) and such a fabulous blogger that I’d call her my inspiration for starting Doing The Compossible a few years ago.

Simmone Howell, author of Everything Beautiful and Notes From The Teenage Underground, who is so effortlessly cool and talented and is a fellow resident of Melbourne (though didn’t require the rigorous medical or madness-inducing forms that I had to suffer to get here…).

Sarra Manning, author of Nobody’s Girl and Let’s Get Lost and more besides, and if Wikipedia is telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth she also went to the same uni and did the same degree as me…hmm, maybe I should have gone to a few more lectures after all…

I’ve been lucky enough to meet 75% of this line-up already (one of the perks of the job…we need perks, they don’t pay us much y’know) and give you my personal solid-gold 5-year warranty guarantee that this event is going to be enormous fun and an inspiration. Or your money back. (The event is free but places are limited so call Tales on Moon Lane on 0207 274 5759, email them on info@talesonmoonlane.co.uk or pop into the shop or Dulwich Library.)

A guesthouse near Brussels, by The Style Files

When I spring-cleaned my website I searched through a hundred different Wordpress Themes for one I could live with. It was difficult. I wanted something to grab me and say “This is so you!” but nothing did. I worried that this was not because of the Wordpress themes but because of boring, lacking identity me. I looked at other authors’ sites – when I got to Simmone Howell’s I thought: ‘Why can’t I just be her?’ but then I remembered that I’ve just finished reading Swapped By A Kiss, by Luisa Plaja, which argues very entertainingly that becoming someone else is a pretty lame idea overall.

This theme was the closest. I was thinking about fresh starts and wide open futures and keeping things simple. But I felt nervous putting it up – it might say those things to me, but what else could it mean, what would readers conclude about me based on the look of my site?

I thought: they will think I’m really into berries. Maybe they will think they’ve stumbled on Emily Gale: horticulturalist. (Mind you, I did once produce THIS.) But the bookish themes didn’t work for me either. They showed pictures of someone else’s books – that was worse than berries. (Also, one of my most faithful readers breaks out in hives when he sees stock images.)

Bath made of books by Vanessa Mancini

So the berries are going, and I’ve been looking for inspiration for what image I can create myself. Looking at Book Shelf Porn has been an enjoyable process in a kind of masochistic way, and I briefly toyed with making something like this…

…until I remembered how badly it always goes when I try to do something artistic. The Drawers of Doom spring to mind. One idea I had seems feasible and I’m going to try it out tomorrow. Therefore, when you return you will either see a really cool new image, or the same damn berries with a blog post entitled WHY DO I EVER THINK I CAN DO THESE THINGS WHY WHY WHY?? I’ll try to make that as entertaining as possible.

In the meantime, these thoughts of identity are very timely considering the debates I’ve been sticking my beak in recently. It started with Meg Rosoff, who argued that the Queen of Teen competition website is characterised by patronising language (eg. it asks of its shortlistees: Bags or shoes?); it continued with Keren David, who reasoned that the answer to that bag or shoes question could be rather more enlightening than the question itself; and it finished with Lili Wilkinson, who said that it’s what’s on the inside of these pink books that counts and that she’s more worried about the slew of black or red books, with their “abusive vampire boyfriends”.

Mostly the debate was interesting and thought-provoking, but a couple of times it was offensive and ignorant. The offensive comments touched a nerve, one author declaring that “pink books” are all a load of tripe, written by “[insert smart-arse description of people like me]” (I’m not going to quote him again because a little pink fairy dies painfully every time someone does.) It’s daft to be offended by a half-baked but impressive-sounding quip, but I don’t want to be judged on a marketing decision any more than I want to be judged on a Wordpress theme. It’s just the wrapping.

If you follow me on Twitter or we’re Facebook friends (or maybe one of those rare and magical real-life friend thingummies – yes, you at the back there in the trenchcoat and dark glasses), you’ll have heard me banging on about how strange it has been to have my book and I in different hemispheres. It may be a relief for you to know that there will be no more of that. Girl, Aloud and I are now in the same neighbourhood.

Music Downloads | Free Reunited ringtone at EZ-Tracks.com

I celebrated this fact on 29th April at wonderful Readings in Hawthorn, where all it took to shift a few books was the promise of pink cupcakes, wine, and the opportunity to watch me squirm at a microphone. If I find my tear-drenched speech notes I might transcribe them here at some point. Or make a youtube clip. Or I might just forget to do that and watch Glee instead.

You never know how a launch is going to turn out (says she who has only had one launch). The weeks beforehand were pretty hellish…for my partner. Every night I’d lie awake, wondering out loud (shaking him violently to make sure he was listening) why on earth I’d thought it’d be a good idea to organise an event that involves public speaking. I loathe public speaking. The nerves became laughable on the actual day. If you’ve ever given birth or been on a long-haul flight – two of the scariest undertakings known to humankind – you’ll understand me when I confide that the nerves had a kind of colonic irrigation effect. I walked to Readings 3kg lighter.

But like most things I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about, it turned out fine. After all – as a friend reminded me – the people there wanted me to do well…most of them, anyway, and those who actively wished I’d fall over or vomit on my shoes hid their disappointment valiantly. Best of all, Girl, Aloud is on the Readings bestseller charts for teen books (April). After two years in Oz, I think I’ve earned the right to say: I’m stoked.

8 signed books (3 Brits, 3 Aussies, 2 confusing half-breeds…the Aussie who lives in Britland and the Brit who lives in Aussieland), and a few extras from the gorgeous gift shop Mac Pelican – a mug (never used!), some notepaper, a notebook, and the scrummiest post-it notes ever. Nice, innit? I thought I’d let you see it before it goes to Mac Pelican tomorrow to get done-up-all-pretty. Someone is going to have a very easy win: they show up at Readings, Hawthorn, at around 6ish, they put their name in a hat (note to self, get suitable hat), their name is drawn out of said hat, and BINGO! it’s theirs (they don’t necessarily need to shout BINGO! but it will not be frowned upon should they feel moved to do so). What could be simpler?

Granted, this is a little difficult if you live in the wrong state / hemisphere. But I hear the great big flying machines in the sky are working again so…well it IS a good prize…

And now I’m off to choose which extract to read – I’ve narrowed it down to “the net curtain bit”, “the very nervous horse bit” or “the Kylie drinks it bit”.

But there’s more! If you’ve ever met me, you’ll know I often bang on about the experience of moving from London to Melbourne and how one of the best aspects of that move was discovering all the Australian literature I’d been missing out on. So to one lucky person who attends my launch I’ll be giving a fabulous prize to celebrate some of my favourite teen fiction of recent years written by British and Australian authors – my Brits Meet Aussies ideal reading pack, containing SIGNED copies of these books (plus a bunch of other gorgeous stuff that I’ll let you see in a few days):

THE BRITS

If you haven't laughed within the first ten pages, see a doctor.

Funny, heart-warming and feel-good. Best concept ever.

So page-turning you'll get RSI. Sequel on its way!

Lucy Christopher grew up in Australia but currently lives in the UK.

Whereas I grew up in the UK but currently live in Australia! Swapped, much?

THE AUSSIES

The latest story from the first author who inspired me to write a teen novel.

Finely written, schmaltz-free goodness from Simmone Howell.

A real weepy, beautifully written.

(Hmm, having some technical issues with the sizing there – rest assured that all the books I’m giving away are the usual size!)

You know what you have to do to win: BE THERE!

You are invited to...

...a party!

On 29th April (from 6pm for a 6.30 start) at Readings bookshop in Hawthorn (Melbourne), I’ll be launching Girl, Aloud. *insert small nervous squeals* Please come! I’m so excited to be in the same hemisphere as my book, finally! There will be cake and cool people and a gorgeous prize for one lucky person…more about the prize tomorrow, but in the meantime, if you live in Melbourne and are firmly against heckling nervous authors, I’d love to see you there.

Teenage blogger Kate Pinn has another review here:
Another Book Blog Whore review
“I had real trouble putting this book down because I wanted to see how Kass would deal with all her problems and the mounting pressure as The X Factor drew nearer.”

And soon-to-be-published teenage blogger Steph Bowe shares her thoughts here:
Hey, Teenager of the Year review
“I recommend this book to teenage girls looking for a funny, smart and easy read – if you’re a fan of Jacqueline Wilson’s books, I think you’ll love this one.”

Owing to a considerable amount of confusion and bewilderment over my singing mice confession, I’ve uploaded some live footage of the “Let It Snow” mouse. He’s standing next to some book. Unfortunately his friend, the “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” mouse has been rushed to singing mouse hospital for Transanal Endoscopic Microsurgery. He hopes to be fully recovered by Christmas Day.

UPDATE 14th December: and you can read part 2 here.

And the reason for my dancing?

See here, where fellow YA author Cat Clarke on her blog “This Counts as Writing, Right?” comes up with five reasons to read Girl, Aloud (Cat’s debut will be published by Quercus…see her blog to find out more).

and also here, where one of my writing heroes, Luisa Plaja, of the brilliant “Chicklish”, calls my book “a wonderfully-observed, realistic and moving mix of relationship drama and gentle comedy”. This is very special because Luisa is one of the reasons I started writing Girl, Aloud back in 2006. If you don’t know her work (shame on you!) do check out Split By A Kiss (very soon to be followed by Swapped By A Kiss, which I’m dying to read).

and finally here, where author, bookseller, reviewer, supremo Litopia podcaster (yep, she’s a busy woman) Eve Harvey of Vulpes Libris describes it as “a dark comedy full of bittersweet self-effacing humour” and claims I nearly made her cry (only nearly? Hmm, more work on that needed! I’ll get ya good n proper next time, Eve).

Don’t forget to enter my competition to win a copy of Girl, Aloud – open to all! Winner to be drawn on Friday 4th December. See here.